"I was still a mad kid, man. I just wasn’t ready for the love they were giving me."
These are the words of Roel Williams, a man whose life story is a testament to the power of resilience in the face of unimaginable challenges. At just six years old, Roel lost his mother to cancer, a devastating blow that set him on a path through the complexities of the foster care system. Over the next decade, he would navigate multiple homes—some nurturing, others abusive—while grappling with grief, instability, and the harsh realities of a system that often fails the children it’s meant to protect.
In a candid conversation with Kirill, Roel shared his journey, offering a raw and unfiltered look at life in foster care. His story is one of loss, survival, and ultimately, hope. It’s a story that needs to be told—not just for Roel, but for the countless children still navigating the system today.
Early Life and Loss: A Childhood Upended
Roel’s story begins with a heartbreaking moment no child should ever have to face. At six years old, his mother sat him and his younger sister down to explain that she had cancer and wouldn’t be around much longer.
“I didn’t know how to react,” Roel recalls.
“I was used to video games and homework, not this.”
A day before his seventh birthday, his mother passed away, leaving Roel and his sister in the care of family friends. But grief took its toll. Roel’s behavior spiraled—he acted out at school, rebelled at home, and struggled to process his emotions. After a year and a half, Sam and Elena made the difficult decision to place Roel and his sister into foster care. “I got into the car, and he drove me across the West Seattle bridge,” Roel remembers. “He told me to sit in this building, and then he just left.”
For a child already reeling from loss, this abandonment marked the beginning of a new, uncertain chapter.
Navigating Foster Care: A Rollercoaster of Homes
Roel’s first foster home was a positive experience. He was welcomed by Sherry and her family, who showed him kindness and stability. “They were awesome,” he says. “I’m still in contact with them today.” But despite their love, Roel wasn’t ready to accept it. Still grappling with anger and grief, he continued to act out, leading to his eventual transition to another home.
What followed was a series of placements—over 15 in total—ranging from supportive to outright abusive. One of the most harrowing experiences came in his second foster home, run by a reverend.
“The moment the social worker left, he told me I had to fight another kid to stay there,” Roel recounts.
The reverend watched as the children fought, later dismissing Roel’s injuries with a smirk. Despite reporting the abuse, little was done, leaving Roel to fend for himself.
School offered no respite. Constantly moving between homes meant Roel struggled to keep up academically and socially. “I never really tried to make friends because I’d always be uprooted,” he explains. The instability eroded his trust in the system and in the adults meant to protect him.
The Broken System: Instability, Exploitation, and Aging Out
Roel’s story shines a light on the deep flaws within the foster care system. One of the most frustrating paradoxes he encountered was the lack of support for foster parents who genuinely cared. In one home, an elderly couple, the Hankins, provided Roel with the stability he craved. His grades improved, and he thrived under their care. But when the state pushed for adoption, the Hankins couldn’t afford to lose the financial support that came with fostering. “They were 76,” Roel says. “They couldn’t go back to work.”
The system’s rigidity forced them to let him go, undoing the progress Roel had made.
Then there’s the issue of exploitation. In one foster home, Roel discovered a scheme where foster parents were putting children on unnecessary medication to classify them as “high-risk” and receive more funding. “They had a mansion, no jobs, and were living off the system,” he says. When Roel spoke out, he was punished—until he finally called Child Protective Services (CPS) and exposed the truth. The home was shut down, but the damage was done.
Perhaps the most jarring moment came when Roel turned 18. With little warning, his caseworker handed him a binder of his records and said goodbye. “They try to give you some advice, like ‘go to the YMCA,’ but that’s it,” he recalls. Suddenly, he was on his own, with no support, no money, and no place to call home.
Life on the Streets: Survival and Resilience
Aged out of the system, Roel faced the harsh reality that awaits many former foster youth: homelessness. “I had to sleep under bridges, hide my stuff, and stay alert,” he says. He worked odd jobs, like a three-hour bus ride to Albertsons for a small paycheck, just to survive. “I’ve seen people get stabbed out there. I’ve been shot at,” he adds, reflecting on the dangers of street life.
But even in the darkest moments, Roel held onto hope. “I never felt like I was going to be there forever,” he says. “I knew I had to keep moving forward.” His resourcefulness and the occasional kindness of strangers—like homeless individuals who shared food or offered protection—kept him going.
Turning Points: Finding Stability and Purpose
Despite the odds, Roel’s story is one of triumph. Key figures, like his “brother” Ethan and mentors from the YMCA, showed him a different path. “Ethan trusted me when no one else did,” Roel says. “He showed me I could have a normal life—go to bars, play chess, go on trips.” These glimpses of stability inspired Roel to aspire for more.
Organizations like the YMCA and the Mockingbird Society also played a crucial role. The YMCA’s Independent Living Program provided Roel with job training, case management, and a sense of community. Meanwhile, the Mockingbird Society empowered him to use his voice, helping him advocate for policy changes. “I’ve changed over three laws working with them,” he proudly shares. “Now, no other kid has to go through what I did.”
Life After Foster Care: Building a Future
Roe, 27 at the time of this recording, has found stability, though the scars of his past still linger. “It follows me every day,” he admits, citing financial struggles and trust issues. But he’s also found purpose in giving back. Through public speaking and advocacy, he’s working to improve the system that once failed him.
His advice to current foster youth?
“Speak up. Use your voice. You’re not alone.”
He also encourages them to connect with organizations like the YMCA and the Mockingbird Society, where they can find support, community, and opportunities to make a difference.
A Call to Action: How We Can Help
Roel’s journey is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit—and the urgent need for reform in the foster care system. For those inspired by his story, here are a few ways to get involved:
Support organizations: Donate to or volunteer with groups like the YMCA and the Mockingbird Society, which provide critical resources to foster youth.
Advocate for change: Learn about the challenges within the foster care system and support policies that prioritize stability and support for youth.
Consider fostering: If you’re able, consider becoming a foster parent. The need for loving, stable homes is greater than ever.
Roel’s story is one of hope, but it’s also a call to action. By listening to voices like his, we can work toward a future where no child feels abandoned by the system meant to protect them.
Share your thoughts: Have you or someone you know experienced the foster care system? What changes would you like to see? Leave a comment below and join the conversation.
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